Gangrene and Lies: Hemingway

   I'm sorry for what you're about to read. I'm tired.

     For the longest time, I resolutely refused, with a rankled rancor, to read the written ravings of Ernest Hemingway. Put quite simply, he seemed like a massive douche to me. Not only was he a misogynist, but he was also a homophobe! Yeah, I know, right!? But see, here's the problem: The man had skills. If Ernest Hemingway was as skillful a writer as he was a misogynist, he must have hated women with a passion comparable to a thousand exploding suns. Of course, I knew he was a good writer, otherwise he wouldn't be famous for his writing, but I had no clue of his skill level until we read a story by him in Ms. Romano's Creative Writing class (where dreams and ideas go to be interred on paper). The level of expertise he displayed in a four page story  made mainly of dialogue was incredible. The things he implied, the relationship he built, the insinuation of Reluctant Submissiveness and Situational Dominance,Subtle tragedy, all of it was masterfully woven into a story that, a first glance, was a simple account of a couple preparing to board a train. It was a very beautiful story, brought into existence by a very ugly man, and I'm still conflicted beyond belief about that.

     In any case, I'll put aside my considerable bias to describe some of his other stories to you. Let it be said that some of theses may need to be read several times for their true meaning to come across, or if you just want to enjoy his writing.

His stories include:

• A fatally overconfident waiter. 
• Gangrene and lies.
• Snow and lies.
• Knives tied to a chair.
• A Cowardly Matador.
• Metaphors for death.
• An old man who lost his cat. 
• Mount Kilimanjaro
• The Femoral artery. 
• A dissapointing movie. 
• Death, at least twice.

     My opinion of Hemingway still isn't the best, but I'll put my bias aside until I finish reading his book. Then, I'll read some more of his books. Then, I'll research his life. Then, I'll contemplate whether it's a good or a bad thing that he blew his own head off. Does the world need more douches, regardless of their literary prowess?

 I'd say no, but damn, I've never seen a man make Gangrene and lies look so good.

Flowers for Algernon

Reading Flowers for Algernon is an exercise in surrealism, and I'll explain why in a moment.

     Flowers for Algernon, told through a series of progress reports and journal entries, is a story that delves into the complexities of the human condition.Charlie Gordon, a mentally retarded thirty-two-year-old man, is chosen by a team of scientists to undergo an experimental surgery designed to boost his intelligence. The scientists have a high degree of confidence in Charlie's chances, as they have already rested the procedure on a mouse, the eponymously named Algernon. The operation is supposed to increase the intelligence of the recipient threefold,turning both Charlie (who had an Intelligence Quotient of 70) and Algernon into geniuses.

     The operation is a complete success, and Charlie soon finds himself capable of actually learning and retaining information. He is thrilled, and takes to learning as a starving man would take to an all-you-can-eat buffet. However, complications soon arise in the form of nightmares and recollections that his now-advanced mind are able to process and understand where he previously could not.. Charlie has many a flashback into his childhood from the unique perspective of having a genius's view superimposed over the original perspective of his mentally handicapped self.

     In this way, I can relate to Charlie somewhat, and here's where the surrealism comes in...this is not my first time reading this book. I first encountered Flowers for Algernon in fifth grade, and had trouble reading it. My difficulty, unlike Charlie's, came not  from lack of intelligence,but lack of attention. As young and easily excitable (relatively speaking) as I was, I wanted to read books about Romance and Action and Sex and Magic. I'd pore over a classic every few weeks or so, but I rarely gave it the attention it deserved. However, Flowers for Algernon somehow stuck with me, and although I didn't enjoy it to the same degree as Harry Potter and the Sparkling Purple Buttplug, or whatever it is I was reading, it certainly got me thinking. Now, about seven years later, every few chapters I'll come across a scene that my younger self thought notable, or that I somehow still remember after all of these years, and I'll find myself plunged into the depths of my own mind on a journey to the past I didn't sign up for. The irony in this is that it's almost exactly what Charlie goes through in his own flashbacks. He'll be reminded of something and then be irrestably sucked into his subconscious, viewing memories that he didn't even know he had.

     I can relate to Charlie. Obviously, I never underwent an operation to boost my intelligence, but I know the sensation of feeling as if your mind and mental processes are beyond your control.

I'd compare it to quadriplegia, but quadriplegia isn't as bad.

Cosmic Sadism

Cosmic Sadism is as valid a plot device as a Deux ex machina, but it should be pointed out that one of these terms was invented  by me and the other has existed since 19 BCE.

For those not in the know, a Deux ex machina is a plot device that literally translates to "God from the machine" and used to indicate a person or event which provides a sudden, unexpected solution to a story. Generally, these are frowned upon;many see them them as a literary cop-out, done when the author lacks the imagination to properly conclude a story or resolve a conflict.

Conversely, Cosmic Sadism is when a series of extremely unlikely events (or normal events. Whatever) come together to cause an undue amount of woe upon a character. This often results in quests. I should elaborate, because I don't think I'm defending my fabricated term well.

Cosmic Sadism is so named because it often seems that no matter what you do, the Universe seems to be conspiring against you. It often results in quests because a great calamity (or just a massive inconvenience) has befallen the character and needs resolving. It's on the other side of the coin from a Deux ex machina because, while a Deux ex machina resolves a problem suddenly and without much precedent, Cosmic Sadism will create a problem that is needed to get the plot moving. 

It's late, I'm tired. If you've got any questions on Cosmic Sadism, feel free to leave a comment below.

Beyond the Shadows

Beyond the Shadows, by Brent Weeks, is a satisfying exercise in imagination. His prose is so clear, the images he evokes so powerful, that the events in the book seem to leap right off of the page. Weeks has created Midcyru: a world of magic, assassins, wetwork, myth,legend,love, and murder, and has somehow managed to weave it all together into a story for the ages.

Before I continue, It should be noted: In this world, there is a critical difference between an assassin and a wetboy. As Kylar, the main character,puts it (often with a sneer), "Assassins have targets, wetboys have deaders." In other words, an assassin tries to kill a target. Once a wetboy chooses their deader, their fate is sealed. I mention this mainly so that every time I say 'wetboy', or 'wetwork', you don't think I'm talking about an unusually aroused male, or someone who spends too much time in a pool.

The plot: Klyar, the wetboy granted immortality by the magical black ka'kari finds himself torn between political and magical factions. In a previous book, Kylar loses his dominant arm in an epic battle and, due to a fluke of magic and Cosmic Sadism (my opinion, not the author's) is unable to grow it back. Kylar,desperate to regain his lost limb,strikes a deal with a God: steal the magical sword Curoch from Lantano Garuwashi, the leader of the proud and battle-hardened Sa'Ceurai, and he can have his arm back. Only after striking this deal does he find a note from his former master (who he believed dead) saying "Make no deals with The Wolf" (The Wolf is the name of the God, so Kylar is basically screwed). In addition to Kylar's Quests, there are several other factions at work in Midcyru.

Some of these include:

• Dorian the Prophet, son of the recently deceased tyrannical Emperor of Khalidor. Dorian only wanted to escape from the borders of his father's kingdom, but, due to an unusual turn of events,  has become Emperor. Now, Dorian finds himself straying down the same unsavory path as his father. 
• Viridiana,  the beautiful former wetgirl (eh-hem...I just mean that she's a killer, like Kylar) must face Kylar's wife,Elene, and inform her that, in the midst of an epic battle, she was forced to establish a magical and oftentimes erotic bond between herself and Kylar. Perhaps more challenging than that is convincing Elene that establishing the bond was done out of pure necessity. Nope, no ulterior motives here.
• Logan Gyre, intended King of Cenaria, must field assassination attempts and political turmoil as he struggles to balance his sense of morals with the necessary evils that ruling a country calls for. 

These are only a few of the stories and perspectives that Brent Weeks has managed to weave. Somehow, through means that must have been magical , he's created a world that I look forward to seeing in his next book.

If you give this book
Now, when someone says they're a ninja or an assassin, I just laugh. Amateurs.

Cat's Cradle

 Reading Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut, I find myself alternately gasping and writhing with laughter. The book is composed of equal parts horror, satire, and subtle humor, all while refusing to bend to the conventions of the science-fiction genre. The plot of the story is actually deceptively simple, it's what Vonnegut chooses to focus on that makes this story unique. Basically, the narrator is writing a story about 'The father of the atom bomb', Felix Hoenikker.  In his search of data for his story, he meets some of Hoenniker's children, and discovers the existence of ice-nine, a substance capable of instantaneously turning any liquid into a solid. He casually realizes that this substance has the potential of ending all life as we know it. In most 'apocalypse' books, this would be the point where the narrator encounters some convenient deus ex machina that motivates him into trying to save the world. Not this narrator. He basically says "eh", and goes on with his life. Two years later, he actually comes into contact with a sample of ice-nine, along with Hoenniker's children, and the story progresses in dramatic fashion from there, but Vonnegut chooses to focus less on the potential lethality inherent in his story, and more on the characters and ideologies present in the world he's created. 

Cat's Cradle is actually a pretty short read- only 191 pages- so I normally would have finished the book within a week. However, the time not spent reading the book was spent puzzling over the ideas that Vonnegut introduced through his characters. I've finished the book by now but some of the events within it have stayed with me. For instance, Vonnegut fabricated a religion solely for the purpose of his book, called Bokononism (named after a man named Bokonon). There are too many intricacies of the religion to go into, but one of the most shocking scenes in the book occurs towards the end, when thousands of people-almost the entire population of an island -kill themselves via ice-nine, simply because Bokonon tells them to. As disturbing as this event is, it is made more so by the fact that Vonnegut is clearly satirizing existing religions. People throughout the ages have acted blindly, simply because 'God', or a religious leader, has told them to. I know no instances where thousands have committed suicide simply of the advice of one man, but similarly ridiculous things have happened. Cat's Cradle, being a satire, may have hyperbolized the extent to which people will go for religion, but not by much. 

There's so much I want to say about this book that I simply haven't got the time to say.  I'd rate Cat's Cradle an eight out of ten. Its great writing hilarious moments, creative premise, and (literally) chilling ending warrant the '8'. However, and this is somewhat petty on my part, I'm denying the book a full '10' because I wanted it to be longer. Part of the power of this book is its brevity, in that it gets so many events and ideas across in such a short amount of time without it seeming rushed. However, I really would have liked to have some closure for many of the events that happened, or to have had some of the deaths elaborated on.

Ah, well. I enjoyed the book, overall. However,it has left me with the overwhelming urge to go play with string.